Many people in FullMetal Alchemist, the manga and the TV series say Ed is a shrimp. Or "shorty" or even a "bean!" Ed Obviously hates when people do say he is a shrimp. He yells, he throws his fist in the air, he curses, he has funny look on his face, he may even tackle the ones who insult him. This is all true of what happens, but I say they're wrong. I say "Ed is NOT a shrimp!" Why? If you're not conviced by me just saying "he's not a shrimp," then let my sucky persuasion skills begin! Read the following reasons I have below and find out why "Ed is not a shrimp!"

NOTE: These reasons are ment for extreme silliness and not logical explanations.

++||Apearance||++

[Shrimp]-is a pinkish, multi-legged, sea-scurning critter who gets thrown in a bucket of cocktail sauce. Shrimp has no hair and it can't smile because shrimp is not cool. Does Ed?

[Ed]-is a male Alchemist with long blonde hair put in a braid. He walks around with a big evil-like grin. As we know, he loves to show his teeth alot. Ed knows Alchemy and travels with his brother, Al. He's cool.

Does Ed get thrown in a bucket of cocktail sauce? I don't think so. If you did, he would curse at you and maybe beat you. Shrimp can't yell or beat you because shrimp is only about the size of your pinky finger. Plus, shrimp is seafood, shrimp can't talk. Ed curses and screams at everyone. Ed can talk. Therefore, Ed is not a shrimp!

++||Clothes||++

[Shrimp]-has no clothes, it swims in the big blue , butt-naked. It can not wear clothes because it is super small and it doesn't need to. Can Ed?

[Ed]-is not always naked(Is that a good thing?). He wears clothes like any normal human. A black tanktop under a black button shirt under a long red coat with a snake-cross on it. Along with black-shiney pants and a pair of black boots. Ed looks smashing cool in those clothes.

Shrimp cannot wear Ed's clothes or any kind because it is not human. Ed can wear clothes becuase he is human. If Ed was not to wear clothes, there would be something wrong with him, he would freeze, fangirls would scream! Shrimp is not the same if Ed was to walk around clotheless because it is not cute. Ed is cute. Therefore, Ed is not a shrimp!

++||Speical Features||++

[Shrimp]-has no special features. It is pink and small. That is all. Does Ed?

[Ed]-has metal right arm and a metal left leg called a "automail." How cool is that? He can beat the crap out of someone harder than a normal blow.

Shrimp does not have metal body parts. So it can't beat the crap outta something harder than a normal blow. It did not loose a arm and a leg like Ed. So, shrimp doesn't need automail. If it doesn't have automail, than it doesn't have any speical features. Ed does, therefore he is not a shrimp!

++||Size||++

[Shrimp]-is one the smallest sea creatures there is. Since it is so small, it dies alot. It dies when it is eaten, thrown outta the ocean, or covered with cocktail sauce. It is a helpless little critter. Is Ed?

[Ed]-is not small. He is bigger than shrimp and can eat shrimp in one bite. He can smash a shrimp with his big boot of death. Ed can die, but does not die from being eaten, thrown outta the ocean or being covered with cocktail sauce.

Shrimp is smaller than Ed and will always be smaller than Ed, so therefore, Ed is not a shrimp!

++||Related?||++

[Shrimp]-is not a human, it is a sea animal. it can only live under water and if it was to live on land it will die either from not being in the ocean or being on someone's plate. Is Ed?

[Ed]-is human and can stay under water for a short time and can live on land.

Ed is not related to shrimp anywhere in the family of shrimp. Shrimp belongs in the sea and Ed belongs on land, therefore Ed is not shrimp!

++||Eatable?||++

[Shrimp]-is eatable. It can be cooked in pasta, salads, sushi, rice, steak, and dipped in cocktail sauce. It is good for eating and only for eating other than swimming around in the sea. Is Ed?

[Ed]-is not eatable. He is not seafood. Ed can eat shrimp and maybe cook some raw shrimp. If you were to eat Ed, he would kill you. No one should eat Ed!

Shrimp you can eat, shrimp is seafood, it is dinner! But Ed you can't eat, Ed is a alchemist, not dinner! so therefore Ed is not a shrimp!

++||Fighting||++

[Shrimp]-can't beat up a enemy or defend itself. In the sea, it can only run away using it's scurny little legs. Shrimp is a helpless animal. It can't fight. Can Ed?

[Ed]-can fight and defend well. He can punch or slice with his metal sword-like weapon attached to his metal arm. Ed can jump to dodge a enemy blow or use Alchemy.

Shrimp cannot perform any of these things that Ed can do, so therefore Ed is not a shrimp!

++||Friends||++

[Shrimp]-has no friends. It only has enemies, and they are sushi chiefs, Red Lobster, other sea animals, fisherman, and maybe cocktail sauce. Does Ed?

[Ed]-has friends. He has his brother Al, Winry, Roy, Nina, and other random people he meets on his journey that don't call him a shrimp!

Shrimp does not need friends, it only needs to fill an empty stomach. Ed has friends and will always make new friends because he is human and humans need to socialize. Therefore, Ed is not a shrimp!

++||Smart?||++

[Shrimp]-is not smart. It is totally dumb. Is Ed?

[Ed]-is NOT dumb! He is a genius! He was able to become a State Alchemist at age 12! That proves he's a smart guy!

Shrimp never did anything unquie, so it is not a genius. Ed is a awesome alchemist! Ed can be sneaky and quick at thinking. He seems to always have a plan burning in that brain of his. Therefore Ed is not a shrimp!

++||Alchemy||++

[Shrimp]-cannot do or learn Alchemy. It's a shrimp...not a alchemist. It can't read. Can Ed?

[Ed]-can do Alchemy because he is an Alchemist. He is human and he can read. Ed reads lots of books. Lots of them on Alchemy. So, he can perfrom good Alchemy!

Shrimp can't read, but Ed can and he is able to read stuff about Alchemy, so therefore Ed is not a shrimp!